He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
