he wants to bone in the snuggie
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
