I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
