So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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