the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
