32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
