What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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