the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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