Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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