Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
