Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
