God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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