I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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