can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
