I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize