thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
