so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
