Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Did you just see the Batmobile???
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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