Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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