Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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