Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He shit in the fireplace
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
