Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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