I just cut my nipple shaving
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
