so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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