Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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