My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
pop tarts are not kleenex
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
