Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ๐๐
Yโall did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.๐
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
