Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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