I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize