just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
