i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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