worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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