Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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