hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
