His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
