we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
