But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
