Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
