A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
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Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
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I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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