I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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