she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
