Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My dick has a subreddit
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
