Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
