I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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