so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
