I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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