we're blogging at a bar
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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