i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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