it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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