Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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