please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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