your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Kiss
Puke
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
