Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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