While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
