so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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