Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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