Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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