Dual....:-)
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize